Begin Again
by Silvials
Summary: Tauriel was fully convinced that she had no feelings for Legolas but they had been together all their life, she felt strange to be apart from him and she shouldn't help but feel a singe of envy as she watched him converse so freely with another elf maid.


**I do not own anything, not even a single elf….although it would be nice to have an elf living in my closet…**

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The rising clamor gave her a headache and the scent of a thousand perfumes only added to her dizziness. Tauriel stood poised against a supporting pillar, concealed within the shadows, isolated from the crowd that filled the banquet hall. Although her face was completely hidden in the obscurity of the dim light, she couldn't stop a flinch whenever a delegate's gaze swept passed her.

Her mind was racing and so were her thoughts, as if she couldn't decide whether to be angry or saddened. Legolas had finally reached a suitable age to wed. She knew it would come eventually though she didn't expect time to fly by so quickly. As much as she wanted to stay close to the prince, she was well aware their friendship could only be surreal. He belonged here and she clearly was a misfit. There was no place for her here and there never will be. Thranduil had already clarified that and he implied it further more when he invited her to join this celebration.

Tauriel had always been hesitant to open up to Legolas, even though she was a little blinded, she still showed herself restraint. He was the prince, the only son of his father and the heir to Mirkwood and what was she? Only a captain of the guard, a position that proved to be the highest, but it was not enough. She thought she could drive away those feelings for him with Kili, though what she saw in the young dwarf was merely admiration, maybe the romance would slowly bud if only….

She breathed deeply and shut her eyes tight, forcing back the tears that strained to slip free. Her life was practically a curse, she lost everyone whom she ever loved and cared about, her parents, one of the king's servant who raised her and most recently the dwarf. She couldn't bare the thought of loosing Legolas however it looks like she was going to lose him anyway.

Her wandering eyes searched through the sea of strange faces before she found Legolas at the far end of the room. He looked as regal as his father, cloaked in a silver and blue tunic with a simple gilt circlet upon his head. She had grown so used to seeing him in his travel-worn hunting gear, now it seems as though she was meeting him for the first time. It made her heart clench, they were too different and they could never be.

As she moved closer, she found that the Legolas was in a conversation with a young maiden his father had introduced to him earlier that night. Her skin was smooth, it seemed as though it was carved out of alabaster. She was dressed in a fine-tailored silk gown that folded into delicate plaits as it ran down her bodice to meet the marbled floor. Her hair barely held any color though it shown like a sheet of silver in the flickering firelight, matching perfectly with the golden haired prince. Upon her head adorned a crown, embellished with jewels so bright it proved to be an eyesore. There was something about the maiden that plagued her heart with pinpricks of envy. Of course, she could never be someone like that maiden, so lithe and graceful, along with everything there is in an ideal wife.

Now she realized Legolas could never be the archer who was her close friend. He was the prince of Mirkwood and he would become her king someday. It was a side of him that Tauriel had never known. It made him seem unreachable, like a far away star that she couldn't see.

Hearing his laughter drifting over the air made her stomach knot hard as stone. She remembered that laugh well from all the memories they shared together. If Legolas was to wed, what would become of her then? Obviously they could never be friends. Their relationship would just be reduced to a captain and a prince. They have been together for such a long time, could he just forget about her so quickly?

Why she was here? She did not have the answer. When king Thranduil had invited her to join them, it was only a mere gesture not an order. She never even planned to come, for all she knew, a guard came to her chambers and informed that the prince was requesting for her presence and now she was here in the banquet dressed in a simple laced dress that made her look like a peasant among the royals. Legolas had not even once glanced at her to acknowledge her presence.

Finally she relented and allowed a tear to trail down her cheek as she prepared to take her leave, hobbling slightly in the uncomfortable shoes she was forced to wear.

When she finally stepped into the light, the whispers and murmurs of the delegates continued on, most of their eyes fixed her as she made her way out the door.

Tauriel stopped for one last glimpse of Legolas but found he was no longer in his seat. She turned towards the doors sharply when suddenly the laces of her dress were caught underneath her shoes and she stumbled onto the ground unceremoniously. Audible chuckles rolled around her as the royals stared at her, not even bothering to hide their looks of scorn.

The captain of the guard picked herself off the ground and strode out of the room with her chin held high. By the time she made it to one of the empty corridors, her face was flushed red and her eyes were glistening with all the unshed tears.

She held onto the walls to support herself as she hobbled half the length of the hall, her footsteps beating loudly in the heavy silence.

Behind her, the doors dragged open again but she didn't dare turn around to find out who it was. She quickened her pace, only causing her to trip over herself again, cursing when a set of familiar hands reached out to steady her. "Why are you leaving? There is so much you will miss out."

He was quick. Tauriel barely even heard the sound of his footsteps drawing near. Turning around, she was met by Legolas who looked back at her with a gentle glint in his eyes. He was the last person she wanted to see at the moment.

"I was not needed there" she answered hastily and took her leave but he grasped her shoulders gently and spun her back around to face him. "What ails you Tauriel?"

"Nothing of importance" she answered, avoiding his eyes but did not turn away. Instead she looked over Legolas' shoulder like the wall behind him suddenly kindled her interest.

She knew well enough that the prince could see right through her and he certainly would not let her be until he got an answer. It was a habit that had always irked her but at the same time she thought it was sweet.

Even if she couldn't quite decipher her own feelings, Tauriel found herself telling him anyway, although it did not come out as well as she though it would sound. "Who was she?" Swallowing hard, she fought the urge to sneer at the mention of the light-haired elleth and tried the best to keep any emotion out of her face.

Confusion crossed Legolas' fair features as his eye brows shot up at the bitterness in her tone. "What…do you mean?"

"The lady you were speaking to," she clarified, blinking away the dizziness as she felt the dread start to rip away her heart into shreds.

This time it was he who refused to meet her gaze. "That was Irissë of Rivendell, one of the councilor's daughters" he said in a flat tone and simply shrugged as if the matter was not worth of their discussion.

"How was she?" Whatever had possessed her to ask that, she'd never know, her stomach was beginning to twist and her heart throbbed erratically as she waited for his answer but he said nothing further, leaving them both in silence. The thick walls of the corridor shut out the tumult of the banquet, leaving only the sound of crackling torch lights that lit the halls. The noise made her feel as though her heart was the one held above the burning flames.

"Is this what ails you?" Legolas' voice finally cut through the silence after a moment. He stepped away from her and crossed his arms, leaning in the wall opposite of Tauriel so he was directly facing her. "Is it?" he persisted, leaning towards her slightly.

"I don't know" Tauriel admitted, the way she said it sounded more like she was telling herself rather than speaking to Legolas. She finally lifted her head and leveled her gaze with the prince's for the first time since she left the feast. He looked much like his father but it was his eyes that bore the strongest resemblance and whenever she looked into them, she was reminded of the words Thranduil had spoken to her not long ago.

"_Do not give him hope where there is none." _ His voice sent cold fingers brushing down her spine. She shook herself out of the thought and found herself staring into the identical blue eyes that belonged to his son. She turned away, feeling the tightness grip around her heart once more.

"She was fine" Legolas spoke first before she had the change to say anything. "It felt nice to be in her company but she was not like you."

Tauriel's eyes narrowed in bewilderment and her head shot up to meet his eyes again. "What…do you mean? I am nothing like her."

"And that is it, you are nothing like her." Legolas moved forward and brushed his fingers across her cheeks comfortingly. It was a gesture she had grown used to over the years and at times she would place her hands over his and let his touch linger on her face, but now it only flustered her emotions moreover and caused her cheek to ripen in a shade deeper than her hair. "I don't understand" she murmured, shaking her head.

The prince flashes her a small smile. "Tauriel" he began, he would have taken her hands in his if she didn't look so uncomfortable in his presence. "You are nothing like her, if not beautiful."

Tauriel flushed even deeper and she swore she felt the color begin to travel up to her ears. Legolas continued coaxing her, pacing around her as he did. "You are a great fighter, a warrior and a greater friend and that is what I desire-"

"Legolas." She cuts him off, a little surprised at the firmness of her own voice. "It cannot be, we are too different."

"There are no rules" he paused beside her and finally pulled her hands into his own, "and there never will be any."

"But your father-"

"All will be said in the future, but what matters to me now is…" he moved her hands onto his chest so she could feel the calm beating of his heart. "How do you feel of me?"

She wasn't sure of how to answer. Her feelings towards Legolas were always contradicting. She respected him as a high rank, admired him as a friend, but love seemed to be a strong word. "I am afraid…" she ended up saying.

Legolas only fixed her with a puzzled look. "What do you mean?" he urged, keeping his tone neutral as he patiently waited for her answer.

"Everyone I care for, they are gone…" her voice trailed into a whisper as she struggled to keep the tears back. "I feel like my life is…_cursed"_

"You know that is not true, I wouldn't be dying so easily either," he added teasingly and quirked a brow at her, meaning to lighten the mood.

That managed to bring a smile on Tauriel's lips as she found the courage to meet his eyes again to see a twinkle of merriment. Perhaps love is a strong word but she loved everything about him and that would mean she loves him too.

She stared back at Legolas, enthralled by the marvel in his gaze. They've known each other for so long and they understood each other in many ways that the others—even Thranduil cannot. Without their titles, anyone would easily say they were meant for each other. "No, perhaps you are too stubborn to die" she returned the jest.

This time, his concern fully melted into a look of pure mischief as a smirk chafed across his face. "This time I am too stubborn to leave without my answer."

Her hands found the plaits of her dress and she absently began toying with the fabric between two fingers. "I love you" it came out more like a murmur but Legolas obviously caught it.

There wasn't a hint of surprise evident in his expression, though she easily spotted a glimpse of red flash across his cheeks and she fought back an amused smile.

"Okay" that was all he could say, chuckling a little at her flushed complexion. "I don't desire anyone else." He tilted his head over to the door behind them. "I desire someone who could be my partner and it has always been you."

Tauriel didn't know what to say anymore. She remembered seeing him for the first time, she was only a mere elfling and he was close to an adolescent. He was the one who trained her, he even taught her how to use a bow. She always admired him and perhaps at some point the admiration grew without her knowledge.

Comfortable silence slipped between them and Legolas finally took the time to study her, A shrewd smile crept across his face. "I merely asked for your presence, you did not have to wear that."

Tauriel frowned at him and only fiddled around with the lace of her dress. "I was trying to impress you."

"Well you look beautiful" It took a while for him to pry his eyes away from her afterwards he offered his arm to her. "Since you have gone through all that trouble, come dance with me."

She hesitated "I am not really good at it"

"It's an order."

She tried to look dismayed but her own smile betrayed her. Her heart was swelling with joy and nothing else seems to matter. The night was still young and she wasn't about to spend it sulking alone in her chambers. Taking his arm, she let him lead her back to the banquet hall, nearly tripping over her skirts along the way.

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**Thank you for reading ;) reviews are appreciated! **


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